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Looked a strong side on paper but SPARKS SECONDS performance tends to be like over aged port these days, rather crusty, doesn’t travel too well, (especially to anywhere on the other side of the A20 ) could do with a decant and general shake up  and leaves a rather nasty taste in the mouth.

‘You going Vin ?,’ I enquired of my fellow supporter and Squash Chairman and was rather surprised to see him colour up somewhat…’ You know, Phil, ‘ he reluctantly admitted after quite a lengthy pause,  ‘ made a bit of a fool of meself actually….read bambi’s email…Bexley away I thought, swerve over there…which I did……. But….yesterday !!! Assumed it was Tuesday as usual, not Wednesday’…… as I  asked  ‘Well…. did they win? ‘ …… he hit me….

So, Sparks one man down on the supporters front…not a good start……but, on the night there was a cracking start !  Boothy first on court- mind you playing at three so he should win  – which he did 3-0 . Easy peasy, we thought and started supporting Networker, playing at four…How the Mighty are fallen though, he used to be a force to be reckoned with but now …..a faint reminder of what once was…an occasional glimpse of talent, but oh, oh so laboured against a retired ex army chap clearly intimidating our barrow boy. So, Si struggling and his concentration not helped by Rich H (or clone as he played last night as well) leaning over the balcony at crucial 5-5 in the second and asking? ‘Si, Si, can’t read me writing….. Slazenger black ‘n’ white ..right ? large or medium…? ‘Well, important we agreed to get it right, reasonable question and it had been drummed into Rich H that his priority was to sell, Sell, SELLl, the ClubLimitedRangeofDesignerWearCentenary shirts…..but not sure that we have a size in F  or a colour ‘Off’……

Obviously there was no hope for a chap who can’t conduct pleas chat in between points so no sympathy for yet another loss by the Networker  0-3. Aah, Garth on court, next , we looked forward with keen anticipation…at least the standard of squash will improve a bit…and Rich H on the other court, so at least no distractions .

Garth against a fellow Alien, Garth resplendent in his team shirt  with Smiley Face badge on one sleeve and Happy to Help on the other….Garth….playing well…moving well….line length, cross court, drop, laid off his trademark tin shots and had obviously taken a Happy pill as also laid off the Marker…Well deserved marathon 3-2 victory.!

And Rich H, Rich who’d said yesterday, playing for the Firsts, ‘ I really feel I’m playing well now Phil, moving, winning a few games…only playing at five for the Seconds….doddle mate…you just wait and see…’Well, we waited…and we saw…a sad sight, yet another example of Age and Experience triumphing over Yoof….Rich H on the end of a lazy lob..or many…scrambling in the corners..outplayed…claimed he pulled a hamstring…Oh Yeh..You Were Outplayed Mate ! …1-3

Rich H’s somewhat dire performance though set up the climax of the evening….2-2 and onto the court to a fanfare of trumpets, accordeons playing Le Marseillais and surrounded by onion sellers, entered………Pascal ! If anyone can save us now, we thought, it’s Pazz ! exhibiting all the National qualities so beloved of the French… Style…Touch…Garlic breath…..languid ,silky, if not somewhat sensuous movements, Pazz gave it his all in the first and narrowly lost 8-10. The second, could he,,,would he…did he ..have the heart of an English Lion ? we wondered…….for the first couple of points it looked good but then Pazz realised who he was, that he was not playing for individual glory but for the team  !....and true to recent French Footballing history and the trait of his countrymen…as Boothy reported, rather rudely I thought…’ lost the will to live and rapidly lost the rest of the match…’ 

So, match lost 2-3, and to cap it all had to put up with an exuberant Bexley lot who, and I s’pose this is the most disappointing fact about the whole evening, were not interested in buying the ClubLimitedRangeofDesignerCentenaryWear ,before wending our weary way back to civilisation………

Phil

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